So, I ended up in Berlin. At a friend's place, a friend with plenty of space but no time. So the deal is to basically be an au pair. I go grocery shopping, cook and make the dishes, some times bring her kids to school, or from school.
As I first got to Berlin I was still on my way south, just having a pause, improving my equipment and planning what to do next. Every day I would have a cappuccino while exploring the city on a bike. Then I realised I was running out of money and besides I could fix the equipment later. So I stopped shopping and just looked for the best coffee in Berlin
I couldn't quite understand how my money disappeared, but it did, so I was making all kinds of ambitious plans for work. Look for people to work with, look for ideas, look for companies etc. But... it didn't feel right. (Read more about feelings and energies in my short story about how I got to Berlin.)
I met beautiful women who in the end ran away. I met potential friends who ended up silent. I found companies, ideas and people that ended up in nothing. All the time I was very kind to myself, doing a lot of qi gong, sleeping as much as I needed and just enjoying life. To be. So why did nothing work out?
I know from the wisdom gotten through qi gong that when doing right, everything just flows. It all comes to you. But I didn't get shit.
I tried to get to the core by peeling the onion, layer by layer. Well, being on a bike trip most layers were already gone! I had very few material things to worry about. Housing and food paid for. No friends, yet, but looking. Having a coffee every day... Ok, so I skipped having the daily coffee. I stopped looking for friends or potential partners. Stopped thinking about money, gave up all job plans.
So now I am practically a monk. I shop food. I cook. I do the dishes. I sit by the fireplace. I play with the kids if they care to, or bring them to or from school if need be. I practise qi gong. I sleep a lot.
I am at peace.
Ha! What utter crap! I am not in peace, by any means, but now my life is as peaceful as it can be. My body is softer than it has ever been. I have no desires. I am calm and sense my inner self, the energies of the universe better than ever before. I am becoming more gentle, peaceful and loving.